whoot. i'd tonnes of photos taken today. it's ACES day & tchr's day celebration. even tho missheng said tt thr was gonna be media & sorts, it turned out tt thr was none. how amusing. anyways, th ACES workout was kinda, uh, weird. we werent th only screwy class, it seemed. hahaha. anyways, here's a pic i took wit phua, cos she was my partner.
hahaha. total weirdness. i cant believe i wore my brother's shirt. talk about cross-dressing mann. anyways, aft th ACES day workout thingy, i took a pic wit jiahui, willa & van. we were all "guys"! hahahaha
we were so amazed by th photo. van & i thought we looked like some band, so she joked, eh, if we ever release a CD, that can be our cover! LOL. all three of them were in ties. hahaha. i took a picture wit pearlyn ee & victoria though. those two cute little things. hahaha. even th way they fight wit each other is super entertaning.
that was so bloody amusing. th two of them looked so retro hurh. must've been th tying of knots on their shirts. gahs. i am compelled to say that i love sc. hahahahaha. i took quite a lot of photos with debZ & yichieh too. this one's before eyeliner & this is AFTER eyeliner. & after i took off my brother's plastic-like shirt.lol, don't ask me abt th look dao thing. it's so amusing. anyways, i took picts wit elaine & chiying seperately too. chiying came back to watch us embarrass ourselves. HAHA. stupid blogger isnt letting me upload any more of my pictures, so i shall photobucket them. hahahaha. mrsfern was super adorable today. hahaha. she wore th new scgs PE shirt & tied her hair like bubbles from th powerpuff girls. it was so damn hilarious!& misslee too was in th scgs PE shirt but it was th old t-shirt. she, missheng, misslau, mrjeow, mrjohari & mssoh got picked to do some funny test thingy for our own created Singapore's Brainiest Overgrown Kid. HAHAHAHA. guess who won! MISS DOREEN LAU. whooo! yichieh & i kept cheering & cheering. IT WAS SO AMUSING, cos misslau kept giving that staring-in-disbelief face throughout th game. hahahahahahaha. we couldnt help but to say that misslau was indeed so CUTE. HAHAHAHA. th more i notice, th more i think she looks like jasmine tye from SI2. hahahaha. during th celebration, i had nothing else better to do but to take some lame random shots. i caught this pic of joy's class doing DBSK's Rising Sun. whoooo. yichieh followed me to tns aft th celebration. i brought her up to th hall. hahaha. she's biased to sincerity. like FINE mann! hahahaha. then i saw jnrs, old classmates/schoolmates. a hell lot of people couldnt recognise me. it could have been either th hair or th eyeliner. whatever it was, yichieh & i were abt to leave for suntec, when i was trying to identify th guys at th bball court. boon tiong turned around, stood, & stared. yichieh was like, oh oh oh! show him th picture of joy! HAHAHAHA. & so i did. apparently, he took quite a long time to realise who he was staring at. i tell you it's th hair & eyeliner okay! stupid jamie said i looked like paul. like PLEASE mann. anyways, aft we got onto th bus to suntec, yichieh was like why did your friend keep asking if you were going home?! hurhur, frankly, i don't know either. so we just laughed it off. we were in suntec for a short while only. we went to city link mall short after to trints to get paper for th continuation of writing th letter to AFI. this time, we got red&black pieces of paper. HAHAHAH. MY FAVOURITE. boohoo. i promised to go on an internet hiatus. i don't think i've got enough committment to do so. hahahaha. maybe after th sch holidays. hopefully no more procrastination after that. oh anyways, i didnt stay in tns long today & neither did i go see th tchrs. most ppl knw i have this problem with crowds. i get claustrophobic. that's how i felt when i saw th amt of ppl crowding outside th staff-infested rooms. i caught a glimpse of misslam, who never taught me, anwyays. also, i ended sch kinda late so i hadnt had th chance to see a LOT of people. oh wells, i say AFI's letter's more important :D okay, back to going out. aft trints, we went to HMV for quite a while. quite obviously we stopped at th AFI albums section. hehs. RETROSPECTIVE ALBUM, i want it. like dammit mann. it's thirty-seven bucks. boohoo. also, i'm considering to get HIM's best of album. HMM. CONTEMPLATION, i need to save money for many OTHER albums too. boohoo. aft leaving th ever-wonderful HMV, we went to this underground place which linked th city link mall to esplanade to watch a bit of breakdancing. i couldnt help but to go ouch at times, aft seeing th guys fall onto their backs. then, we walked arnd raffles city a bit. we went into nine west for fun & i started hyperventilating over th fact tt they were playing th UNCENSORED version of i'm not okay by My Chemical Romance. i found it so amusing for a couture boutique to play emo-rock. HAHAHA. we didnt stay for long & went home. oh wells. i love undergrounds.

oh my gosh. i'm damn freaking amazed by this guy on youtube : the pianocian. go check out th videos of him playing miss murder & love like winter by AFI and Dance Dance by the fallout boys. he's so damn pro. gahs. he's got all th music sheets on his website which is linked to his youtube profile. i feel so inspired. HAHAHA. but i'm not planning to read off his score. i think i might just go on my own & refer to his scores for parts that i'm not sure. oh my gosh la. i'm still smoothening out my goosebumps. hahaha. anyways, since last saturday, i've had this impulse to go to vienna, austria at th end of th year. this sounds really stupid but i wanna go to th museums?! this desire was at its strongest when i was at music lesson today. probably it was th harpsichord. HAHAHA. anyways, for th past few days, i've been kinda more exposed to classical music i guess. eh, but vienna's got nice scenery. & what's wrong with going to a place where music flourishes? heck that it's classical, it's still music. but th only problem is tt my father might not wanna go for either it's too expensive or too boring to him. hahaha. well, i do wanna go! aye yie yie. right now, i'm listening to amanda's angels&airwaves we don't need to whisper album. sounds kinda good. it's got like this space-y kind of atmosphere to th songs. hahaha. i feel more ET than ever. hoho. but it's still ROCK. th drummer's gooood. woohoo. i shan't blog much for i feel QUITE happy. WHOOOOOO.

another day back in sch. th start of th final week of third term. thirty-three days to EOYs & i'm still bound by that cursed toothache since saturday. anyways, i realised that cold stuff numbs it & therefore making it less painful. gahs. does that mean i should live on ice-cubes? thr werent tests today. so for th first alleged test period, it was spent doing th ACES day kungfu hustle thing. gahs. it's uhms, better than last week i guess? then for chinese, i think laoshi was quite surprised tt i was quite attentive today. hmm. for recess, i ate a slice of watermelon, in hope to alleviate some of my pain frm th damned toothache. rahh. then yichieh & i hung arnd gallery-one. th 2nd alleged test period was used for some geography lecture. i hadnt wanted to sit there but apparently thr was no place else. i'm back to being paranoid. being insecure. i'm going to lock myself in hatred. anyways, maths was pretty alright. misslau told us about her university life of maths aft she scolded us quite a bit for like th first forty minutes of class. she's really nice. & of course i can see why she gets so pissed ovr our class sometimes. i get annoyed with myself too. haha. for english/literature, misschong came in again. i like th fact that she feeds our class with information without being too indulgent, just as weasel had been with us. i feel less dumb. anyways, for assembly, i had to sit there again. i was half thankful that they moved, no doubt feeling quite sour too. i had sarah on my left, and we started talking abt classical&jazz music. see, i talk about music wherever i go. i think i'm nuts. anyways, this harpist came to do a harp appreciation thing for assembly today. she played really well. her harp seemed so beautiful. i assure you i was so enthralled by its intricate hand-crafted design, i was going to daydream again. i was thinking egyptian-grecian-roman. tell me i'm nuts. i think she's coming back. save me from her, i beg of you. anyways, van-th-greatPOT sprained her ankle. what amusing news. anyways, i became her tongkat quite a few times whilst jiahui & willa scurried away back to class. i just realised it's tommy, iris & my brother's birthday today. iris is insignificant, so is tommy. sadly, my brother left for camp before i came home. i got to eat his overly-creamy cake. my mother said he alone finished half his cake. it's so hell creamy, i wonder how he survived. anyways, feeling guilty that he gave me chocs for my birthday & that i hadnt got time nor money to get him a present, i wrote him an ultra meaningless testimonial. i wonder what he'll think of his unfathomable younger sis. i wonder my sister gave to him or said to him. oh wells. i need drugs. stupid toothache. it's complemented with her haunting melody. maybe i should resignate to it.

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Always

sorry, nostalgic again. time has really flew by us. maybe it's underappreciation, but i cant seem to feel as connected to twoPE as i am to oneSY. you can call that guilt, or maybe i'm being obstinate. i refuse to accept that class or smthn? don't get me wrong, twoPE's a great class and all but i cant seem to find that same bond/connection that i have wit oneSY for twoPE. i'm just wondering, if i'd miss th class aft i've entered secthree. i'm feeling worried. my grades are falling into a bottomless pit. this sucks. i feel stupid. really stupid & lousy. self-empathy is useless. i know. but i'm not pitying myself. i'm just wondering what on earth went wrong with my grades. here i am trying to study, but my answers all seemed halfbaked. as for chinese, i'm halfheartedly giving up & trying. how contradictory can i get, seriously. i'm like doing everything wrong right now. i hope this stops before i take my EOYs. i want and have to do well for th examinations. shit it. i hate stress. not forgetting, i still need a dentist. it was really painful this morning, but aft i slept again in early afternoon, it felt much better. gahs. now i think i'm idling. i dont know what homework i have. i dont wanna think about tomorrows. i dont wanna worry about tomorrows. i need to be apathetic before i drive myself crazy thinking about things that wouldnt happen. even if i said they wouldnt happen, i don't feel assured. outrageous. it's definitely ridiculous but i cant believe it for myself. like creating issues for myself or smthn. right now, i want morhpine; panadol; tranquilisers. i want to be numb. i want to be apathetic. it's another relapse of when leongyiting feels like dying but doesn't want to die.. yet.

i need a freaking dentist. th mouthwash is temporarily alleviating th pain. dang, why are there these cursed wisdom teeth? poor amanda's gonna have four. i can hardly bear one only. i cant chew bread properly. and i've heard so much abt removing th tooth. some people FAINT upon th pain of removing th tooth. i bet i'd squirm & yell. anyways, talking about pain. i've taken a fancy to labrets. hahahaha. just now at dinner, i jokingly asked my mother if i'd get disowned if i ever get a labret. hehs. personally, i dont really like navel piercings, nose piercings nor any other kind except for th ears & eyebrows & mouth area. hahaha. i know what some people are thinking, she must have been obsessing too much of davey havok. but seriously, i think labrets are cool! and i dont think they're as difficult to eat with than that of tongue-piercings. i think th process was kinda gross. saw this picture on internet where this guy pokes through his patient's tongue wit a needle and holding it wit a scissors. {coughs} anyways, let's talk about this morning. i dont know if thr was ballet lesson. but if thr was, i'm really sorry i didnt turn up cos i didnt knw tt thr was class. so i had like 2 missed calls frm heather. i buried myself in guilt th whole morning. then i had to go for piano lesson. i went in before my sister did. as usual, whilst i played, she'd be a buzzing nuisance in th room. painfully annoying. i swear i cld have fallen asleep playing my schumann's kinderscenen piece. i dont know why i felt to tired. i somehow ended up playing th piano with my eyes closed. hehs. when it was my sister's turn to have her lesson. i sat at th usual spot i'd be at whenever my sibling plays th piano. like in th past, i did th same when my brother had his lesson. now i'm doing th same wit my sis. interesting. then i just lay on th table. somehow, i ended up sleeping. SLEEPING DURING PIANO LESSON. huge offence. i'd never felt so tired in my whole life. but i was in a state of half-concious. i cld hear everything tt was being said but didnt exactly register it. i rmb some the used song was stuck in my head then. i just kept reciting th lyrics subconciously, somehow. anyways, i headed off to parkway wit my sis aft that. i had an intention to get new earrings & a new notebook. but because i complained of being in so much pain, my mother went to buy antisceptic mouthwash, which surprisingly works, kind of. 77th street ran out of those 5mm black stud earrings. i kinda got my brother to try to get them aft dinner anyways. i hope he gets th correct ones. or maybe he forgot. hahaha. i got this really swirly-design-cover notebook. it's meant for my EOY notes anyways. i think i might just do notes on geog & history. science is all highlighting & science notebook. woohoo. thirty-three days to EOY. i might as well just drop dead. i'll go on a computer hiatus soon. starting from.. september i guess. that reminds me, nad's birthday's coming. oh wells. anyways, i've moved from myspace to livejournal. i think th myspace restricting thing is kinda annoying. and i cant do skins on it. so i've moved. but th acc's still thr. i mean, aft all, my initial intention was to read davey's blog posts on myspace, wasnt it?

a beautiful day. no sarcasm intended. i fell asleep at 0230 this morning woke up at 0600 again. i dont like th feeling of being awoken, because it feels as though i've been led out of my body. it somehow causes breathlessness in me. anyways, i talked to yichieh in th morning as usual. lessons were quite alright. misshchua was away today, so we had this young teacher who took her place. she's like 19 this year and she looked like th older version of this prefect in upper sec. hahaha. another ex-scgirl. oh wells. then we had home econs. katrina & i were were amazingly quick and we, thankfully, did not spill detergent this time. hahahaha. for CE, i grouped up with rachel lee rj, serene & helen. serene, rachel & i were making up a lot of lame jokes and were generating a lot of noise. i realised i have that mrs fernandez face. that one in which she makes her face look distorted. i have that weasel face too. that one in which she stares at you in horror. it was serene & helen who pointed that out. i was like doing th CE thing when serene asked me to do tt face again. i went huh? with my fringe hanging, and rachel attempted to imitate me. it was so hell funny. & that serene attempted to be emo but thoroughly failed at it. it was ULTRA amusing. then i stayed back in class for a really short while to come up wit ACES day workout steps wit danitza. i hate pleas. anyways, aft tt, van & i went to willa's house. i stole a LOT of willa's food. well, i was hungry! as willa had lunch at her grandma's house {which was th unit above hers only}, i was at th comp while van meddled with willa's awfully out-of-tune guitar. HAHAHA. when willa came back, she offered us fruits. hahaha. whilst van used th computer, willa & i were lying on th floor right next to her guitar. we started singing along to th marilyn manson songs tt were being played on th computer. i think we kinda looked like drunkards cos we were mimicking MM's snarling voice which didnt exactly turn out quite th same on us. HAHAHAHA. when it came to th song i dont like th drugs, I sounded as though i was on drugs. SO AMUSING. then willa couldnt stop commenting on how plushy her blanket was. lol. it was like pink&patterned with white rabbits which occasionally mooned. then i climbed onto her bed which was above th computer. started shaking th bedframe a whole lot till vanessa yelled from below. hahahaha. willa's room is so cooool. hahahaha. i fell asleep listening to full blown rose. then i hung my head over th railings of her bed. vanessa was so freaked out by th realisation of how thick my hair was cos i took of th hairband. then marx, willa's brother, entered th room. i think he thought i was like some ghost or smthn. it was quite funny la. then we started singing the click five songs. hahahahaha. so funny. i had a bad time getting down frm th bed. i hate stairs & step; scary things. van had her turn on willa's bunk whilst i wrapped myself in that queer pink & plushy blanket, sitting at th computer once again. then we headed off to macs wit th intention of buying ice-cream, but ended up eating quite a bit more. we stayed thr for quite long, for our topic of conversation stretched quite far. we talked about a lot of supernatural stuff & th belief of christianity and stuff. ohwells. then willa sent van & i off at th bus-stop. i took 857 to suntec to change bus lines. over at th suntec bus-stop, th first person who caught my eye, was this guy with emo hair. i couldnt believe it. someone who donned emo fashion. his hair was covering one eye, but that couldnt conceal th fact tt he didnt have any make-up. he was an avg-looking person. i'm not into going out wit guys at this age anyways. then when th bus came, it was ultra packed. that guy got onto th same bus as i did & was standing behind/beside me. it was then tt i realised that he was wearing au black clothes. his top was this HIM shirt. i was like OMG, SOMEONE'S WEARING AN HIM SHIRT. i was so shocked. cos it wasnt often tt you'd see someone adoring such bands so openly in singapore. on one hand, was a cuff with misfits written on it. omg, i know daveyhavok loves the misfits. quite an old rock band. his other hand had been placed in a silver studded black leather cuff. i couldnt help feeling amazed. thr was this point of time when he turned arnd & stared at my hair, then my wallet. when he was smsing throughout th bus trip, like i did wit van, i noticed his black fingernails. then i was reminded that i havent gotten my black nail polish back frm lisa yet. i had this inexplicable urge to pull out my eyeliner & draw his eyes. he lacked MAKEUP. not only that, there werent piercings! SO SAD LA. what a deprived emo-kid. lol. i was kinda hoping to see tattoos somewhere but that'd be a tad too extreme for me too. hahahahaha. anyways, i saw his wallpaper on th cell phone {which was quite a rad cell phone}. it was smth like i'm lonely. emo-wallpaper. hahahaha. oh btw, willa just told her mother abt our wish of entering th bermuda triangle in th future when we're done with our lives. we'll die togther. perish. bamboozle.
tell me about a psychotic deathwish; absolutely venturous.

i'm running away. i'm turning to escapism. that's no good! anyways, i feel fucking horrible right now. failed maths, failed geography, failed gong han with 2 marks out of twenty. it's like gunshots with exploding shrapnels. anyways, it's mrs fern's birthday today. for recess today, yichieh spent th whole period being misantrophic. i just feel psycho today. must be those damned tests. anyways, i slept at 0300 this morning and pulled myself awake again at 0600. i'll be off to palais in another one&half hours. surprisingly, i feel less tired than yestderday. chinese file due tmr & i havent had th motivation to complete those freaking corrections. my weekends will be anything but holidays this week. i'm gonna complete my literature dossier thingy. oh great portia. anyways, aft sch today, i went over to van's class to join she & willa to finish off th card for mrs fern, wrap her present up & give it to her. van got this totally complementing green wrapping paper whilst i just scribbled & doodled some stuff unto her card. willa was just thr getting hyped over cosplay costumes. oh wells. when we were abt to leave th classroom for th staffroom to pass this small present of ours to mrs fern, jane entered. she inquired for what we were doing. apparently, hardly anyone remembers or even knows mrs fern's present {it's on th class blog for goodness sakes}. so we left th classroom & jane peeped into th home economics room. it turned out tt mrs fern was right there. willa & i went one, two, three, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! it gave mrs fern quite a startle. she exclaimed cant you see someone sewing peacefully & quietly here and suddenly hears music at th doors?! it turns out tt she was playing music frm her WMP on her laptop whilst sewing a teacher's day present for her son. hahahaha. how amusing. van & i eyed at each other, planning to wish her a happy birthday in unison when she suddenly exclaimed girls, there are ghosts here you know? then van & i just practically wanted to faint with laughter. goodness. then we tried again. when we wished her a happy birthday, she was so touched and went oh girls, you actually remembered! her eyes turned red. i wonder if it were tears or that her eyes were already red. then she made this kissy sound & went hurh? so no hugs? no kisses? and i was like i volunteer van to kiss you! hahahaha. van was like HURH and jane just chuckled. then we each gave her a hug. mrs fern's this huge teddy bear who always gives warm & comforting hugs. or maybe it was th panadol that was working. anyhow, we wished her happy sewing before exiting th room. then on th bus home, nicole's favourite bball senior got up th same bus as i did. then i saw vanessa on th bus & sat with her. wait, this isnt th van i was with five minutes ago then. it was my tns jnr. hahaha. we started talking abt some old stuff abt tns & rattled on. she got off th same bus-stop as i did despite living just right next to tns. oh wells. it was quite amusing.

WHOOOO. back at home alr. when i was talking to nad on MSN using van's comp, we were debating over pretty guys. obviously i'd support davey havok. HAHAHA. nad thinks i have like a crush on him. like omg mann, i'm not that kind! but i swoon cos he's pretty! hahahahahaha. oh & aft van & i alighted frm th bus we took at sch, we headed off to bukit timah plaza's KFC to buy lunch. i didnt know what to eat so i got van to choose from {A}, {B} or {C}. she said {A} so i had a zinger burger. at her house, {cos it was takeaway}, i was eating on her bed and her comp was playing the chicken song by AFI. because of th last time at weeler's house, tt song was playing when th two of them were eating mcchicken burger, they started laughing when they heard th song on weeler's comp. & this time, it was my turn. zinger burger's a chicken burger! it was quite retarded la. hahaha. before van & i left her house, she received a few calls/smses frm weeler, saying tt she was alr at novena's sq. i was kinda contemplating whether to go or not cos if i do, it would mean tt i had to go home late & probably get skinned by my mother {who has no idea i failed my maths test yet. shit.} yeahh. so we rushed out & took a taxi. poor van had to pay for th taxi fare. aye i'm so sorry. anyways, aft we met up wit weeler at novena sq, jiahui called up to say tt she was lost. her problem: she didnt know how to get to novena sq via th bus routes nor MRT. van & i instantly wanted to faint. then jiahui told van to buy food for her cos she hasnt eaten, so we entered burger king's to get a burger {like obviously it's a burger}. then we went to get mrsfern a present from hallmark's. then van made an announcement saying tt she needed to use th toilet while weeler bought food frm breadtalk. aft van returned from her journey to th toilet, her first question was: so, is jiahui here yet? and we were like, uh no. anyways, near 1730 {when their class was gonna start} we were wondering whr jiahui was. in turned out tt she was alr at th music centre. like wtf!? anyways, their class was hell funny today. jiahui's SUPER ANTI-CLIMATIC. hahahahaha. i was trying to play weeler's bass for fun. th bass' neck was abt to whack jiahui, so she yelled OUCH, YOU"RE JABBING MY EYE WITH THAT THING IN YOUR HANDS! van, weeler & their guitar teacher YELLED out in laughter. and i was like laughing & apologising to jiahui. hahahahaha. another instance was when i was doing th melody for dirty little secrets whilst they were doing th guitars, van yelled over th piano for me to stop. so i stopped & turned arnd to say hurh? then jiahui randomly went, eh! do you want to eat my burger? i was like {stares} HURH? WHAT TALKING YOU?! and then th rest of them laughed till they hyperventilated. oh my gosh, jiahui you're like ultra randomness. then aft th original class time, we stayed back a bit for th three of them to practise. we made a hell lot of noise in th studio. hehs. aft tt, van & i took an MRT down to newton & orchard respectively whilst weeler&jiahui had their dinner at novena sq. i took a forty minutes bus-ride home aft th MRT trip. boohoo. stupid traffic jams.

i'm like blogging from van's house now. anyways, i just realised today, that th lead vocalists of bands tt i often swoon for, kiss their bandmates really often. hahaah. they say it's gay but i dont really care. hahaha. anyways. i swear i almost fell asleep in class today. for CT, mrs quek called cheryl koo out of class for smthn. some of us suspected tt it had something to do wit either misslau or misschua. oh wells. then we had lit for first period. i fell asleep watching th video. ohwells. for PE, we came up wit steps for th aces day thingy. it looks quite okay for now..? blearghs. i got back my math test. trust me. i bloody screwed tt test. failed by one mark. i think my parents will kill me tonight. i'm thinking suicide notes. hahahaah. bah. stupid van's sleeping on her bed. and i'm here wrecking her WMP songs {which are unfortunately & possibly disgustingly filled with chinese songs. hehs.} i'm playing MCR now. whooo. i think her WMP needs a great deal of english songs. like more AFI & Marilyn Manson & uhms Acceptance & probably much more. oh wells. i'm feeling bored. I DONT GET TO PLAY TH PIANO. boohoo.

I'M SWOONING OVER DAVEYHAVOK'S VOICE RECORDING ON 987 INTRODUCING AFI. OMGOMGOMG. I THINK I'M NUTS. WOOHOO.

let's tell you something stupid. yichieh & i right now, are getting jealous over this cat:
if you dont know who th guy {squatting down to play with th cat} is, it's davey havok. it's kinda amusing how yichieh & i are over reacting to this. jealous of this cat because it gets to meet davey without even know who he is! AHHH. anyways, we came up with this totally weird theory of why he's vegan: he love animals {proof- the picture above} HAHAHA. LAMENESS. anyways, i spent time making a new picture for th blogskin when i was supposedly studying for math&literature tmr. also, i found this picture of jade puget in glasses. my first reaction was: omg, i have to show this to yichieh. she'll freak. & she really did. i'm supposed to complete my chinese composition corrections & this really sucks: i ran out of gao zhi. like wtf mann, of all times.. so i guess i'm gonna get killed by lao shi. blearghs. anyways, ballet yesterday morning went by really quickly. we did our solos for th dace studies. we had so much time we did it twice through, all five of us. anyways, eryn got videocamed. hahaha. i spent like an hour sending her th video ytd night whilst i made th blog picture. anyways. YICHIEH, DAVEY IS BETTER THAN JADE. hahahahahaha. i'm feeling high right now. hehs. let's talk about being emotional. i dont like being labelled but i label people. i know it's wrong. but well, i'm dont label people with th intention to hurt. ANYWAYS. debZ calls me th emo kid. hahahaha. it's on a lighter tone though. and because of that, my initials is now th abbreviation of my new moniker "le-yeeemo-thing". HAHAHA. so amusing. like WHATEVER la! but i'm starting to think i am one. dont talk about my clothes. i dont get to buy clothes often. but with reference of th emo kid song & usual stereotyping, i seem to fall under that category. okay. let's list th factors. glasses with dark&thick frames. despite the fact that my glasses are half-framed, they're still quite thick. blearghs. this reminds me. one day during recess. lailing walked up to me and randomly went hi! your glasses are emo, but not thick enough. and she walked away. it left yichieh & i going hurh? hahahaha. and thr's this part in th song which goes paint on my nails and make-up on my face. which reminds me. lisa owes me my black nail polish and my eyeliner has been made blunt by my brother. and here's another phrase I'm an Emo kid, non conformist as can be. oh great. if people havent noticed, my motto is succumb not to conformity and here they go saying that people who think that way are emo. like wtf mann! and there are more phrases. here's another: dark & sensitive with low self esteem. right. i dont wanna think about that. people know that well enough of me.. another phrase: Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies, I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing. oh right. Hawthorne Heights. Now i understand why jovel keeps mentioning HH to me. she thinks i'm emo too. okay th sobbing part, you decide. sulking. everybody thinks i sulk. how is expressionless & apathy sound to you? and people should see th amount of stuff i write in my diary. which then leads me to another phrase : I don't know diary, sometimes I think you're the only one that gets me, you're my best friend. even though it does sound gay in th song, i cant help feeling that way at times? like i've said in a few of my old blogposts, words are like escapism. My life is just a black abyss you know? Its so dark and its suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip.. this sounds so familiar. it sounds like smthn i'd often write in blogposts, even not so much of it nowadays. asphyxiate. I play guitar and write suicide notes. oh great. if i'd known of this song earlier, i'd have picked up th drums instead of th guitar frm van&willa instead. rahh. & i think suicide notes are pretty. OH WELLS. yes one more: hair. EMO. EVEN MISSCHUA THINKS IT'S EMO (even though she calls it goth but i'm pretty sure she meant emo) blearghs. so, am i emo?

VOTE FOR A.F.I. hahahahahahaha. MtvVMAs are comingggg. but i just found out tt it'll be aired LIVE when i'm at th airport. sheesh. what luck. {wails} anyways, today's first period was chinese. i think i screwed ting xie. blearghs. then we had home ec. mrstan teaches really slowly. anyways, katrina's & my mushroom soup didnt turn all lumpy like elaine's nor yichieh's. hahahahah. th salad dressing was like subway's. hahaha. but katrina & i had so much salad tt she couldnt close th lid of her container. hahahaha. then for science, we had to do more electrical ciruits. katrina & i got so confused. i swear, those voltmeters are weird. anyways, i dont feel like blogging much.

VOTE FOR A.F.I.

i dont like being sick. & i just found out that panadol makes me high at times. hahaha. i went home during recess today. th first half of th day, i struggled to stay awake & listen with bad ears, bad throat & bad nose. for science, we got back our science papers. highest in class was 29. i got 28. hahaha. it was kinda funny. cos ck & nicole were one of th five ppl who scored th highest in class. then we had english aft science. misschua made us watch a part of an oprah winfrey episode. it was meant to help us in our descriptive writing. th episode was about this lady who got shot by her ex-boyfriend when he flew into a jealous rampage. anyways, i was trying to figure out how she was being shot exactly. th fact tt part of her faces got blown out of place & she didnt die, th gun might have past her face instead of at her. well, i dont know. she was stupid to be hopelessly devoted to her boyfriend despite his abusive behaviour & obsessiveness. gullible for th fact tt she actually thought that she cld change that in him. yes, everyone would definitely judge her when you first see her appearances. misantrophy: the vulnerability of mankind but soon, we silently told ourselves to snap out of it. i admire her for being so strong in her belief, her faith for god and her generosity & courage. to be so strong-willed to live on. to be so courageous to come out of her shell. to be so generous, to forgive her ex-boyfriend. if i were her, i would have let my emotions get th better of myself & probably went off to either suicide or murder th guy. overnight, she lost half her face, her mother, & th direction of her life swerved violently. lynn was so angered by th clip that she started to convulse with rage. i've never seen lynn ever so uptight. well, we all feel unjust for that lady. anyways, i didnt stay long enough to watch th last bits of it which was {assumingly} played during literature {after recess}. i was so tired i fell asleep on th bus home. somehow on th way home, i realised i didnt have my phone with me. but i remembered so clearly that i'd put it into my bag. i assumed i dropped it in th bus. called SBS but they said th bus will only dock in abt two hours time from then. and by then, my mother would have dragged my sister & i off to lavendar to renew some passport stuff. yeahh i was supposed to be at home recuperating and all but i didnt seem to do so. then i remembered that i havent seen my phone th whole day, so it probably was in my father's car. my mother got so bloody pissed with me, she gave me a freaking 15-minute accusation on my hair which she thought caused th loss of my phones & wallet. whatever it was, i had enough. i yelled. i flew into a rage. i dont like being accused. especially over smthn that does not make sense at all. anyways, when we met up wit my father at th immigration centre, it turns out tt my phone had indeed been dropped in th car. oh wells. my mother then became resonably less accusing of me. i felt so unjust. when i got scolded, i just locked myself in my room and blasted my Hawthorne Heights CD, while she continued to yell at me from outside my door. blearghs. anyways, panadols make your moods extreme. either at th top or th bottom. aft renewing th wtv stuff, i told van tt i could make it to meet her at novena to scout for mrsfern's present. after all, my parents allowed, despite th fact tt i wasnt feeling well. th whole day, we didnt find anything at all and lastly decided on hand-making cards {& probably flowers?!}. i followed jiahui, willa & van to their guitar lesson. hahaha, i think their guitar teacher was quite nice. kinda like mr ho - th kind who doesnt yell and scream when you dont get th stuff right. anyways, van keeps saying tt she screwed up her stuff. i think she was just having moments again. anyways, i hope she doesnt get too hard on herself. after all, it's just like pirouettes - you have your in-th-zone days & your out-of-touch days. i guess this day was one of th latter category. anyways, aft tt, we went ovr to united sq to scout, but found nothing. oh wells. we took a cab but willa & i alighted aft newton circus & took a bus home. i'm feeling kinda sleepy right now, but there's still ting xie to study. boohoo.

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're dirty ass in front of me

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger And you're down, down, down

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're dirty ass in front of me

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

All my friends are gone,
they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)
Never gonna forget, never forget, how we hate the world
(Gonna take you down)

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
and Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

i love this song. i like th evanescence cover better than th original version performed by koRn. i wonder, how to you diminish hatred within oneself? i'm so sorry. i'm feeling really pissed right now. i dont know why. maybe not pissed, but not happy nor sad. i'm not in th mood for screamo/emo/punk rock right now. i've been playing thoughtless over and over again. th chorus makes me want to weep. alright. that was an emo statement. but yeahh. i really hate you. i really hate you. i really hate you. i dont remember why i do. i dont know why i still do. i dont know WHY i can still think of you. i feel like blasting you into pieces. shred you into battered pieces and drown you hydrocholoric acid. i will expose you to sun. i will make sure you feel th burn as i did that day. i will be shylock for th day. i want you to feel th pain. PAIN. you know not what pain is. fucking scars of my moniker on your arm. LIES i tell you. i will awake from my gloomy alias th day your lies to me are uncovered. so deceived. so naive. so gullible. i want to kill you. i want you drowned. severed. shot. stabbed. drowned. incinerated. will th day i ever see you disintergrated and shattered will be th day i ever regain my sanity. now they all think i'm crazy. or maybe i am. everything you said, a pack of fucking scornful lies. scorched unto my skin to reveal th truth behind it. you act. masquerades to be condemned. nights or months. it wasnt insomnia. things of a past are creatures of negligence. they kill your insides. i want you dead. i want you worse than dead. what hypocrite you are. lie to me like it doesnt hurt. i want to see you again, to inflict pain upon you. hurt and fear. but it seems that i convulse with rage before i can even touch you. i want to hold th knife-blade of which your blood has been spilled onto. i want to drill holes into your soul. i want to pour that darkness you've caused me to be trapped in into you. i want to be free. i dont want to be contained. you owe me one thing, slavation. you say everything i am now was brought unto myself. may it be self-denial. may it be naivity or stupidity.

bleed dry those veins of hatred.

i'm feeling ultra bored. i stupidly played wit th camera and recorded myself playing coma white on th piano. HAHAHA. th beat is kinda uhms, off. hahaha. i sent it to weeler. hahahahaha. and she thinks it sounds nice. LOL. ultra amusement. anyways for ballet, my blister bled so badly tt even my pointe shoes also kena bloodstained. BOOHOO. i wanted to drop dead doing pas de bourree piques in centre pointework cos my blister rubbed so badly against th side of my shoe. i hate it when th toepad slips off. rahh. oh wells. i spent RAP period at van's classroom today. whilst wenxi, chiying & i were like idle-doodling, van was playing wit a ruler and uh beautifying weeler's desk. hurhur. then we had this random scratching-skin topic. eh guess what van! tt stupid scratch on my right arm was still thr when i went for ballet. and ballet was like uh at four?! hahahah. anyways, chiying's last day of sch's this friday. so she said she'll be baking brownies. HAHA. actually, i'd rather her not bake th brownies & dont leave. HAHAHA. okay. selfishness. oh wells. i dont feel like blogging. i'm like listening to uh.. les sylphides {ballet} right now. yes, i know. OFFNESS. hahahahaha [:

another loooong day. english was kinda uh weird today, that we had to leave our classroom to a place to absorb th atmosphere of a place and do a descriptive essay on it. blearghs. lessons were alright on th whole. aft school was th health week activity thingy. stupid pilates, didnt really learn much, considering tt th dancers who were gonna watch th dance appreciation thing @ esplanade had to go aft abt 30mins of class. hahaha. th performance was alright. having watched the dying swan & bolero before, i kinda anticipated th length of th item. i'd never liked bolero much & probably wont ever will. hahaha. aft returning to sch, i dumped th pilates mat-thing. blearghs. then i headed off for crestar. jittery & nervous, i had a bad feeling i did badly. i couldnt help hoping tt th bus would crash or topple off th flyover. also, i had to collect my sister's too, so i was deciding ovr whether to see her marks first or mine. walking that long forgotten eight flights of stairs which i had not climbed in four-plus months. with every step taken, it felt like another stab in me. i felt like killing myself. blearghs. for a moment, i wished tt i would roll down th stairs and bleed to death, than to suffer th agony of walking up th stairs of pure torturous memories. but anyways, i dont know what i thought, i was so in a mass {mess} of thoughts. aunty esther wasnt thr, but i saw aunty li ming. they recognised me. aft like four months? interesting. anyways, whilst one of th counter-ladies browsed through th gradeseven results, i saw this piece of paper on which was written th name&grades {no marks written}. i was appalled. utterly appalled. for gradesix2005, only one got a merit. {sidetrack: sheesh. wrong song @ th wrong time. WMP shuffled here i am by marion raven, now i'm getting all nostalgic} this time for gradeseven, more than half th class earned only a merit grade. i started to hyperventilate. then i saw my name and aligned my grades. it was a momentary sigh of relief but then i wondered if th distinction was a borderline one. and then, i worried some more.. th counter-lady couldnt seem to find my cert -.- then she looked into th drawer & pulled out my sister's & my cert. anyways, before i disclose my results, these are th few people's results i'd managed to see
merit: grace, yan siang
distinction: wei qin {whose results were right under mine}, li zhong, angelina
well, i'm not sure about th others. after all, i was never a professional when it comes to reading things upside down & aligning stuff. so here we go. i have no idea who has gotten th highest. well i dont really mind cos i scored 91 out of 100. I WANTED TO CRY OUT IN LAUGHTER. negligence of your student due to a personal dispute does not affect her unless she gives up on herself, IN YOUR FACE, BITCH. anyways. i called debo to tell her tt i've collected my results, and wont need to trouble her. at abt 1930, i arranged to meet her at th bus-stop to return th fan i had borrowed in like th beginning of th year. okay. back to nostalgia. i dont quite like being submerged in it. but before i convulse in my lost world of whims&fancies, let's recall everything that happened in oneSY. quite an appropriate time to do so, cos chiying's last day in sch will be this friday. i guess she'll have plenty of time to pack & sort out her stuff in th two weeks before she flies off to boston. and not only that, mrsfernandez's birthday's coming up. i still rmb th days when yichieh & elaine desperately called for chinese talentimers to stay back & practise. th most fantastic experience: arranging practise in a hotel room during malacca trip. to whoever who loaned us her speakers then: thank you! and i think sports day was so fun. i almost went hoarse yelling. i love being PErep. i really detest being AVAreps. it's a waste of time -.- every teacher that taught us. every scolding we had. every pre-test anxiousness. every post-test worries. every scream, every squeal, every cry, every laughter, everything, possibly. i just realised, i still want to live in th past.
move along, yi ting.

another day in school. i swear i'm on my way to losing my voice. i ate one strepsil & finished lynn's throat lozenges. that just sucks {meaningless pun intended}. this morning after i spoke to chiying, mrs quek came ovr to lynn & i to ask abt what we wanted to do with th initial plan of complaining about our higherchinese teacher. then she digressed and talked about my hair. all i did was to go mmhmm, orh, okay, alright. then she dived into th topic abt lao shi. lynn & i rolled our eyes aft she left. she apparently didnt know what we had intended to do, and how we really feel about lao shi. anyways, drop that subj. first period was actually meant to be a history test, but we had a history lecture instead, held by th one & only: mrs quek. th whole thing was quite alright, except for th fact that th microphone in th lecture theatre abhored mrs quek. wait, not just th one in th lecture theatre. even th one in room100 when we did CE wit twoSY. th mic died on her, again. obviously twoSY & twoPE found it highly amusing. (sidetrack: crestar just called. i'm gonna collect my ballet cert tmr. i bet i did bloody badly) during recess, i was talking to yichieh & we discussed abt rewriting th letter to AFI. cos it turns out that they DO know singapore. boohoo. and we thought we were gonna be th first FEW to send fan-mails. HAHA. anyways, during english, misschua got really pissed wit our class. oh wells, it was kinda our fault, but nagging did not have to last that long. besides, it takes TWO HANDS to clap. then instead of our usual assembly for last period, we did prefect-voting. i love democracy (just th same for Mtv VMAs <3)Emo Kid song tt i'd put onto my camera. she got so grossed out she tossed th camera back to me. hahahaha. then i joined th rest of th ballet people & then headed off to prepare for ballet lesson. at th changing room, i took a few pictures of them. hahaha. it was so amusing. random ballet poses. here we go:

and here's jeannette looking bored hahaha

yes, random pictures they are. anyways, remember th flowers i got frm dance concert? i dried them, so now my bedroom smells like dead flowers. here are pictures of those dried flowers [:

hahahaha, i'm bored. i'm like waiting for eryn to send me all of th intermediate songs. hahahha. i forgot what i had wanted to blog, so i shall end here [:

i hate doing maths on th computer. not that i get distracted, but it's that i'll always end up having a headache. sad thing is, I DONT HAVE ANYMORE PANADOLS FOR HEADACHE AT HOME. sheesh mann. and i cant seem to absorb anything whenever i do maths on th computer. blearghs. anyways, yesterday online, i was spreading AFI's chicken song and this Emo Kid song by these two guys called Adam&Andrew. super amusing songs. even when i came online today, i was still bombarded with th lyrics. hahaha. anyways, tomorrow's history&chinese test but we're having gong han for chinese and a lecture for history. so i wont have to study anything except for th gong han format. i heard tt we might be writing a complaint letter. how appropriate -.- anyways, i'm not feeling happy nor sad. more like apathetic. head hurts. digress digress digress. everyone's on digressing. i think god should have made escapism a sin. hahaha. i spent th whole morning re-ripping my CDs cos they were ripped as protected tracks when i first did it. hurhur. anyways, here are th things i'm planning to get. so it means from this year till th end of next year, i'll be broke. i'm not wishing for a new phone. here goes the list:

AFI's retrospective album - AFI
Beyonce's upcoming album - B'day
MCR's upcoming album - {title yet to be known}
Evanescence's upcoming album - The Open Door
Gerard Way's comic book - The Umbrella Academy
Jojo's upcoming album - The High Road
FIR's latest album - fei xing bu luo

so here we go. i've got every reason to go broke. i dont exactly feel like blogging now. sometimes, words are like th only things that seem comprehensive to me. i need my diary. i need to doodle&scribble.

i'm happy today. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. okay, i was yesterday too! hahaha. anyways, i went for ballet as usual this morning. well, i almost couldnt wake up in time to alight from th bus. now THAT sucks. hahahha ballet was kinda alright, othr than th fact tt th sole-ache on my right foot had a relapse. aft ballet, i didnt go for hsienfa's class cos i had piano lesson, again. i met up wit my mother to get my exam leotard done before going for lesson. mr ho spent fifteen minutes mourning for his CDs which had come in contact with sponges for quite a long period of time. it turns out tt they ate into his CDs. piano was alright, but thr was this pianist's concert recording, hell he was damn good. he played one of th haydn's sonatas. blearghs. mr ho's expects me to play like that. i'm like wtf. hahaha. aft lesson, my mother, my sister & i went to parkwayparade. i finally bought a decent pair of jeans. well, it was frm marks&spencers. i think th back-pockets are weird but heck la. hahaha. anyways, i'm elated. hahaha cos my father just bought a new camera. FINALLY, A NEW CAM. well, i still think th old cam was better despite its shape and stuff, it's definitely better than th new one. th new one takes FOREVER to caputre images. blearghs. ANYWAYS, SINCE I'M HAPPY, it wont be a long post. [:
here's a picture i took with th new cam. it's my brother's guitar. hahahahaha [:

guitars make wrists painful! my left wrist's hurting and my left pointer & middle finger's like gonna start blistering or smthn. hahaha. we spend today's home econs period cleaning th place up. turns out tt phua's unit's termite-infested. hahaha. kinda amusing. anyways, ytd, i got so inspired with guitars, tt i suggested tt van teach me a little bit of it. hahaha. inspiration probably sparked off when i saw this video where narilyn manson played th guitar. then i saw john5 playing th guitar. and then i heard many more AFI songs & of course jade's guitar skills are like hell good. but th one that got me SO inspired was marilyn manson's acoustic version of coma white. it sounded so nice. hahaha. well, i think i'm gonna pick it up for like a while and then let it go. hahaha, but there's no harm in learning an extra instrument, isn't there? so aft sch, van & willa & i went off to van's house so tt she cld pick up her guitar & change into another set of clothes {which turned out to be her basketball shirt -.-}. so whilst she fretted about whr her new red {rad} guitar pick was, i was like playing on her piano. EEYER, NOT FAIR, SHE HAS A NICE PIANO. my piano's so old, i just realised. anyways, cos i didnt drink th cup of coke her maid had poured out, i gulped th thing down before leaving her house. i badly wanted to belch. rahh. anyways, aft we reached willa's house, we put down our stuff and bought food frm macs. i've been cursed today. first i dropped my un-bitten pau during recess & almost dropped tt watermelon slice, and at willa's house, i bloody dropped th ice cream. HELL PRO LA. okay, nevermind that. even though i was supposed to learn, i was only given attn when i asked van to teach. loll. othr than that, th two of them were obsessing ovr some jap videos on youtube. hahahaha. when i first tried playing th chords, th guitar pick kept ending up IN th guitar hahaha. well right now, i think i can catch th notes and i'm trying very hard to break down th mental blocks. hahaha. willa started fantasising over her dream bass. lol. anyways, guitars are tiring but fun. hahahaha. well, nothing to blog i guess, othr than tt i have ballet tmr, AGAIN. well, not tt i'm lamenting, but i wanna sleep in. hahaha. well no, i WILL go for ballet tmr [:

van's bugging me to do this question so here it goes
Why do u keep opening the fridge to look for stuff to munch on when you know that there's nothing inside?
: hmm. tough one. cause it's habitual! and i'm hungry and th first place you'd think of is th fridge and when you open th door you'll go oh snap, where's th food?!

LAMENESS MANN VAN! anyways, whilst eating just now, i watched th america's-two-weeks-late TRL on MTVasia. i saw fergie's debut solo single. dang, it was like uh.. {no comments} and they talked abt MCR's frontman - gerard way - is gonna release a comic book titled the umbrella academy. mann, he draws really well. i've got nothing to blog at th moment. might continue blogging later.

goodbye for now.
Y

new blogskin Y
derived from this song.i'm in love with this song, i dont konw why and how. but anyways, i attempted to play it on th piano today. how odd, marilynmanson songs being played on a classical piano. hahahahaha.

there's something cold and blank, behind her smile
she's standing on a overpass, in her miracle mile
"'cause you were from a perfect world.
a world that threw me away; today. {today}
today, i run away"
a pill to make you numb,
a pill to make you dumb,
a pill to make you anybody else.
but all the drugs in this world
wont save her from herself.
her mouth is an empty cut, she was waiting to fall
just bleeding like a polaroid who lost all her dolls
"you were from a perfect world.
a world that threw me away; today. {today}
today, i run away"
a pill to make you numb,
a pill to make you dumb,
a pill to make you anybody else.
but all the drugs in this world
wont save her from herself.
a pill to make you numb,
a pill to make you dumb,
a pill to make you anybody else.
but all the drugs in this world
wont save her from herself.
"you were from a perfect world,
a world that threw me away; today"
a pill to make you numb,
a pill to make you dumb,
a pill to make you anybody else.
but all the drugs in this world
wont save her from herself.
a pill to make you numb,
a pill to make you dumb,
a pill to make you anybody else.
but all the drugs in this world
wont save her from herself.

th song's really slow and all, but i still love it. marilyn manson makes gross theatrical/stage gimmicks but they make good music.

national day celebrations today! so thr was this mass of red shirts when i went to sch today. i really liked it, cos it's like RED. ahahaha. i'm not making sense, nevermind that. my class was in class-tee cos our class tee was red. hahaha. but we had to change out of it anyways cos of th performance. th performance was kinda fun, despite th make-up and th heels i had to wear. bubbles were everywhere! i hope someone took a pict of all of us performing in those bright-coloured stuff and all th bubbles blown by th primary sch. i was busy bursting bubbles. hahahaha. th scene was really beautiful, no kidding. sch ended at 0930, so aft i changed out of those clothes back into class tee, i went off to taonanschool wit chiying cos she was bored. but th trip to tns definitely made her bored-er. at th tns canteen, chiying froze in her tracks and muttered omg, isnt that like.. i turned in th direction she was looking at and completed her sentence: our tuckshop auntie? and she was like yeahh! i laughed. jason's grandmother was there to pick her younger grandson up. how interesting. it was quite expected tt he wouldnt come back to tns. hahaha. i saw a few jnrs. i saw boon wen, nicole {kenneth's sister, who kept denying she was his sister..}, nicole {angklung/kulintang junior}, charmainelow and a few other tchrs. chiying left aft quite a while. met up wit lizhi & ruici and th rest too. while lizhi & ruici were talking to mrsjennytan, i saw mrsfionasoh walking towards th staff room. i remember two years ago, she said she remember her old students from where they sit, but not their names. so i decided to say hi to her cos she was my science teacher. hahaha. she looked at me for a while and said, oh oh! i know who you are but i cant remember your name, sorry! you were from.. 6G right? i know! you're that girl whom this boy always talks to.. uh, what's his name again - that badminton player? i was like {oh shit} and guessed boon tiong? and she was like oh yes! would you like filling me in on your name now? hahahahaha. i was like WTF when she rmbed me alongside with him?! anyways, i kinda ripped off ruici's uniform belt on accident today, hahaha sorry ruici.. then a group of us headed for parkwayparade. christopher, yinghui, larry, timothy, lizhi, ruici & i were walking towards thr when christopher & yinghui decided to walk off on their own. as i've told ruici, i used to have a bad impression of timothy back in tns, but i've been proven wrong. hahaha. we were debating whether to eat at burger king or KFC cos they were like side by side. lizhi was like NOT KFC, cos he thought his brother was gonna eat there. we purposely embarrassed him in front of his brother. and soon, he was lost in this small coterie of white cos his brother's friends seemed to have mobbed him. hahaha. it turend out tt he had booked his brother's friend for being late. mann, prefects are like SO th BANE of our lives! hahaha. but we decided on KFC in th end. lizhi was complaining about me being too random. and when he's random, he said it's alright for me to be random but not for you!.. like what bullshit you! hahaha. then somehow we started talking abt brains and stuff. lol. larry was like completely redundant & extra there. th three of them ate up all of my cheesefries cos i din want it. aft eating, lizhi went to join his brother while i went off for ballet. i have no idea & din really bother where larry went aft tt, whilst timothy & ruici went to scout for ex-taonannites. those lame & funny people -.- i turned up 10mins late for ballet cos th bus came really late, but eryn was later cos of her prefects' thingy {SEE, PREFECTS AGAIN..} heather was down wit a headache. joey charlotte deanna and th rest werent here. so thr were only four of us dancing. oh wells. aft ballet, i received this sms frm phua. turns out tt she knows this squasher guy who used to be frm tns. i was hell shocked. hahahaha. anyways, quirky day it was.

now here's smthn i saw on xueshen's blog aft blog hopping. her coterie members seem to have either shrunk in height or are all stunted in growth.

ORANGE
Closest orange thing to you: my brother's guitar.
Do you like to burn things: yes {INCINERATE(!)}
Dress up for halloween: i'd like to.
Are you usually a warm-hearted person: no.
Do you have anything against ginger hair: no.
Are you usually full of energy: depends on my mood.

YELLOW
Closest yellow thing to you: the fan.
The happiest time of your life: everyday seems like an emo-day.
Favourite holiday: emo-day.
What makes you smile: red&black, and some othr stuff.
Are you a coward: yes.
Do you burn or tan: either ways i still get sunburnt.

GREEN
Closest green thing to you: th windows scheme i'm using.
Do you care about the environment: YES.
Are you jealous of anyone right now: many, uncountable.
Are you a lucky person: yes, in a way. no, in a way.
Do you always want what you can't have: CDs? APLENTY.
Do you like being outdoors: no preference.

BLUE
Closest blue thing to you: my brother's 20-folder-file.
Are you good at calming people down: i wouldnt know, ask them.
Do you like the sea: no preference.
Last thing to make you cry: dont remember why.
Are you a logical thinker: depends on how you see it.
Can you sleep easily: no.

PURPLE
Closest Purple thing to you: thr doesnt seem to be anything purple in my brother's room.
Like being treated to expensive things: i feel guilty.
Do you like mysterious things: i hate suspense; apathetic.
Favourite type of chocolate: dark chocolate.
Ever met anyone in royalty: th king of columbia, seriously.
Are you creative: you decide.

PINK
Closest pink thing to you: this paper bag three metres away frm me.
Are you gay/bisexual: obviously not.
Do you like sweet foods: like what? i love chocs & candies though.
Like play-fighting: {omg, i havent done that in ages.}
Are you sensitive: overly.
Do you like punk music: fine with it, but i prefer emo-core, metal and hardcore.

WHITE
Closest white thing to you: broken chair.
Would you say you're innocent: i'm never innocent, or at least to them.
Always try to keep the peace: i wish, you wish, what a wonderful paradise it would be.
How do you imagine your wedding, if you want one: like marilyn manson's. i'll swoon.
Do you like to play in the snow: i hate cold temperatures. i'll freeze & die.
Are you afraid of going to the doctors or dentists: i love the smell. i'm not afraid, but i do get jittery.

RED
Closest red thing to you: my blood
Last thing to make you angry: anything & everything
Do you have a temper: an uncontrollable rage, an unforgiving wrath, you deicde.
Last warning you were given: no idea.
Ever been in love: i do not know love {and don't exactly want to know}.
Are you a fan of romance?: no.

BLACK
Closest black thing to you: th font colour i'm using?!
Ever enjoy hurting people: yes, and still do.
Are you sophisticated or silly: you decide.
Afraid of death: i've never witnessed any human deaths, i'll decide another time.
Would you like to go to space: half-hearted.
Do you have a lot of secrets: yes.
What is your favourite colour: red&black
Does the colour you wear affect your mood: no, unless it's red&black.
What colour are your bedroom walls: some idiot painted my walls white and sponged it with yellow.
You prefer contrasting or harmonizing colours: contrasting. harmony is overrated.
Do you like to paint: like what? th absinthe bunny? hahaha
What colour would you think best symbolises your personality: red, or black. you decide.

impersonaters are stupid, brainless and really dumb to actually call people dummies. and using vulgarities on an innocent seven-year-old, it just shows that that person is socially and morally deprived. what is th society coming to? anyways. i've gone of being hell pissed to hell amused. mann, i really love AFI, their chicken song got me laughing when i was pissed. hahahaha. anyways, vanessa and her post-milo-mania. anyways, one day, i think i'm gonna end up like madonna wayne gacy {marilynmansonband} and start hating computers {that seems almost impossible at th moment}. today's geog test & science test were kinda okay. but th science test seemed unbelievably easy, then again, it could have meant smthn else.. OH WELLS. anyways, let's talk about more unhappy stuff, like : intrusion of personal space & privacy. i am very particular about this. probably it's th impact aft my experience of getting scolded really badly back in primary four when my mother discovered my diary. from then, i sworn that i'll keep my diaries really personal. then i discovered blogging {dang, it sounds so country-bumpkin-ish}, and i started typing stuff here. stupid people who hack blogs, i think it's useless. dont you have like better things to do? if you're angry at a person, you can do smthn productive, like WRITE YOUR OWN DIARY/BLOG, instead of fucking up someone elses. it's like really dumb. yes, i myself use profanitites, but hell, i'm pissed, what do you want me to do? go all nauseatingly sweet concealing my anger and thus invoking and aggravating my implosive-anger residing within me by saying: oh, how i loved that clever impersonater who had the same IP code as i did, it was so smart! like WTF mann. oh shit, i'm going emo again. SHALL STRAY OFF POETIC DEVICES. blearghs, fuckshit idiots {now i'm really pissed} i'm exasperated and probably pessimistic. less than two months to th inter-exam and i'm probably th least-prepared and weakest candidate. i must change my mindset: I CAN MAKE IT. oh no, i think van's-blogging-lameness is getting to me. hahahahaha.

i got this off some random blog tt i entered. found it kinda amusing, so there we go.

The Opposite Sex.

1. Guitar or Drum Player
2. Skater or Surfer
3. Brown or Blue Eyes {either}
4. Blonde or Brunette {either}
5. Brains or Looks (it's usually first-impressions isn't it?)

Food.

11. Hamburger or Hotdog
12. Pie or Cake
13. Apple or Banana
14. Coke or Pepsi
15. Chicken or Beef {either}
16. Oreos or Chips Ahoy
17. Pancakes or Waffles
18. Chocolate or Vanilla
19. Strawberry or Cherry
20. Watermelon or Cantaloupe
21. Potato salad or Macaroni Salad
22. Wheat or White
23. Tic Tacs or Candy
24. Sausage or Bacon
25. Sour Cream and Onion or BBQ

Sports.

26. Baseball or football
27. Swim or Track
28. Tennis or Golf
29. Skiing or Sledding
30. Bicycling or Jogging
31. McDonalds or Burger King
32. JC Penny's or Sears (wtf is this?)
33. Walmart or Target (wtd is this?)
34. Trophy's or TGI Fridays (wtf is this?)
36. Pants or Shorts
36. Zip-Up or Pull-Over Sweatshirt
38. Dresses or Skirts
39. Mittens or Gloves
40. Print or Cursive

Names.

42. Jessica or Jennifer
43. Aaron or Erin
44. Carie or Kari
45. Todd or Tom
46. Lynn or Lee
47. Sarah or Susie
48. Jack or John
49. Lindey or Linda
50. Mike or Nick

Music

51. Punk or Rock
52. Pop or Alternative
53. Rap or Techno
54. Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera
56. Korn or Staind
57. Limp Bizkit or Linkin Park
58. Guitar or Drums
59. Piano or Violin
60. CDs or Radio

Currently I'm..

[x] Alone
[ ] With another person
[ ] With a group of people
[ ] In pajamas
[ ] Naked
[x] Dressed comfortably
[x] In my clothes from today
[x] Listening to music
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Watching a movie

I own..

[ ] A laptop
[x] A stereo
[ ] An MP3 player/iPod
[ ] an inflatable chair
[ ] A bean bag chair
[ ] A lava lamp
[ ] A black light
[ ] An automobile
[x] A musical instrument
[x] A CD player
[x] A CD burner
[x] A DVD burner
[ ] Over 100 CDs

I have...
[x] Glasses
[x] Contacts
[x] Pierced ear(s)
[ ] Other piercing(s)
[ ] Tattoo(s)
[x] Scars from accidental injuries
[x] scars from other injuries
[ ] Missing teeth
[ ] A broken body part

well, i'm bored!

one step to a new wardrobe. now all i need is red&black clothes. new shoes today, hahaha. you people are gonna laugh if you see it. hahahaha. anyways, i'm gonna do another random post. it all started when my sister mispronounced words on th car. i started getting really worked up and told my mother about how i felt abt th way misschua pronounces my name. she, like lotte, calls me yeeeteeeng, she does it in a more annoying way. i dont understand. she just cant pronounce chinese names properly or smthn? i mean like, hey, you're chinese too, it's our mothertongue, cant you at least call out our names th correct way? like even if she goes according to phoenics, it shld be yiting, not yeeeteeeng. it gets on my nerves a lot. oh wells. actually, thr's nothing much to blog about. byebye people of the century.

i'm feeling hyper. i'm feeling high. it's rare. i'm HAPPY. HAPPY, SHALALALA. anyways, that's BESIDE th point. YILING please stop tagging my blog, i dont give a shit that you dont like this blogskin cos it's MY blog and i love th blogskin. wahas. short post [:

oh oh oh! this was smthn i did ytd out of feeling emo.

i'm paranoid. i'm overly-sensitive. there's no cause to be so bitched about it.

i'm feeling bloody pissed. nothing's going right. phua finally returned to school today. i was given some bloody lame excuse that her notebook rubbed against my marilyn manson CD, thus causing those ugly, heart-scorning, scratches. i'm really sick of this already. first my panic! at the disco CD cover breaks, my avril lavigne CD breaks, my HH and my AFI album gets cracked. all you fucking irresponsible people, i really hate you for not taking good care of my CDs. i dont really care if you think i'm overreacting over my CDs. you may think oh, it's just the cover, what the fuck is she making a big fuss out of. well FUCK that. you suck. i take so good care of my CDs and to actually loan it out to you people, it shows that i trusted you. and you return my CD in such a state. my MM CD is only like a week old? notebook hurh, then how do you explain th front of th cover? this sounds really stupid but i cried seeing my CD being mistreated. nothing can get me more agitated than this. i'm not going to loan out my CDs anymore. shit-assed irresponsible faggots. tonight's SI2 was so screwy, i'm damn sure everybody went kinda off-pitched at some point. oh wells, my mother says blame it on the mic. my freaking blisters bled during ballet. blearghs. for CS today, we were in th comp lab doing nothing at all.. keejia lynn & i were on youtube on one of th iMacs. keejia & lynn thinks davey havok looks girly. RAHH! he doesnt okay! hahaha. and keejia was like oh! no wonder you cut your hair like that! what bullshit! i dont cut my hair to look like anyone. and it's SO different from his hair (which he snipped off anyways ]: ) blearghs. chiying keeps calling out paultwohill! whenever she sees me and this sucks. i cut my hair this way not to look like davey havok (although i'd love to) nor paultwohill, it's cos i need to stop balding. blearghs. dont know if you've noticed it enough, i'm bloody burning on my insides at th moment.
fucked up irresponsible asspies.
i dont want to love. maybe i'm a love-hater. or maybe i'm a hate-lover. i am void of love and i will continue to be. i dont need a reason to be as fucked up as i am now. if you dont treat my things with care, i dont see any reason to be nice to you either. if i have a problem, either live with it or close one eye and try to help, not fuck up on me and scream. i'll scream louder than you. for two years, my wrath dormant in my soul. slight sparks of rage submerged, you havent seen the real thing. you'll scream for mercy, beg for love. and i will be there standing before you, fuck you, you'd never thought how i feel. i dont need to cut myself to be emo. i dont need to dress emo to be emo. i live emo. thus, dont label me. it's just the way i react, just the way i feel. dont get all superficial and lovey-dovey on me. i hate those false fronts i put on everyday. just to make myself prettier to everyone else. no one knows how much hatred, how much anger, how much rage, and how much guilt torments me day by day. you think you're living the real life and real pain by cutting yourself? wait till you step in my shoes and live on panadols. you'll see things in a whole different perspective, dont come running to me saying, sorry, it won't work. i wont live long. everyone hates me. i seem like i hate everyone, but i just dislike some things that humans do, not hate them. if so, explain the friends i have. i'm misantrophic. i'm pessimistic. i'm not one of those hyper fucked-up monkey toy-friends you hang around with. i dont exude dark auras but i am constantly asphyxiated by it. all those things that were of a mistaken friendship has made way for new-age hate. it's sickening and tiresome to put on a masque of happiness. i fail it all the time. this is the best i can afford. the cracks are expanding, i cant keep it up anymore. i'm more clear minded than ever. maybe you term it as an attitude problem. well, fuck you if you find this incomprehensible.

i forgot to add in another thing that happened ytd! nearing th end of recess, yichieh & i were talking about serial killers at th bench outside my classroom. tt was when we saw weasel walking towards th twoSY classroom via our class corridor. she was like staring at th two of us, probably cos one was in red while th othr was in white (meaning frm different classes). halfway through th conversation, i randomly turned and said hi miss lee. and she waved back at us, raising her eyebrow. then she turned at th corner and headed off for twoSY (or so i thought). all of a sudden, she backtracked and stood dead in her tracks and scruntinised me. i was feeling wtf is she looking at? oh no, not th hair, please. and she was like pointing all arnd her face and went you.. you've got fringe!?! and i was like uh, ah, yeahh. and she did tt thumbs-up sign, smiled and really headed off to twoSY's classroom. hell, i bet she was freaking amused or something. hahahaha. right now, i'm feeling emo. emo-feeling-people dont exactly make sense. so let's do an emo-post. please pardon th profanities.
to those fucking idiots who've taken my nokia7360 and my white billabong wallet, swear and cuss tt you rot in hell. guilt. disappointement. guilt. disappointement. guilt. guilt. GUILT. This really sucks. i HATE HATE HATE losing stuff. screw you dishonest people. "what once did exist, now is meaningless" i guess that pretty much sums up that screwy friendship in april. "desperation, devastation, all i truly know (all that i know), is isolation, self-damnation, all life that i know, was shed and worthless now" that, i guess sums up how i feel abt losing my stuff this year. yes, gained a lot of new stuff - which never lasted. "a pill to make you numb, a pill to make you dumb, a pill to make you anybody else" i tell you, i need a fucking panadol with all these things echoing in my head. rahh. right now, i dont exactly know what i'm feeling. it's more like a mixture of self-pity (how pathetic), apathy, hatred, guilt, anger and vengeance. "got a crush on a pretty pistol", "BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!" at times, i really wish i had a gun. i'd shoot everyone else that stands in my way, but somehow before i can even pull th trigger, i'd be pointing it to my own head (dammit you stupid one). "your sins into me" you're responsible for what i am now. dont push th blame all to me. no one taught me how to express love and no one taught me how to deal with stress. you reap what you sow - an angsty teen. i shall go totally incomprehensible from here onwards.
and you thought you knew her. you reap what you sow - an angst teen. what you've not shown, it's all surfacing. it's no longer embedded in her soul, she's broke out of her shell of tolerance. one step deeper and you'll disintergrate along with her. pull you into the darkness, momentary and illusionary glitter-scenes. what deluded fool you are. tell me what a mother's love is. you think fufilling her material needs is suffice? it's not even considered love. it's indulgence. she wants to kill, but unaware who her victim is going to be. she assumes it's going to be them, but who knew she backed out and gave a shot unto her heart. now bleeding scarlet rains out from a jagged pore of her flesh. will you save her? is there salvation? she doesnt trust you, she never did. her eyes wide open drill holes unto your soul. emptiness, pouring out your darkest skeletons. tonight, you'll learn to look at things through a tainted glass shard.